IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem?

#countries #people #visit #art #galleries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that audiences are turning their backs against
art
Use synonyms
 galleries in some parts of the world nowadays.
Although
Linking Words
 there are several undoubted factors to be blamed for
this
Linking Words
, societies can take steps to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some reasons to explain for
this
Linking Words
 downfall trend of less visit to
art
Use synonyms
 galleries I want to mention are other disruptive recreations and the shifting of interests. In
this
Linking Words
 modern life, it seems like people no longer have enough
time
Use synonyms
 for
art
Use synonyms
; they would rather spend more screen
time
Use synonyms
 on cellphone, tablet, smart TV and computer than checking the frames of paintings or pictures rotting in the museum. Every single piece of
art
Use synonyms
 has a story behind it which requires audience to invest
time
Use synonyms
 to understand and treasure it, but a fast-pace lifestyle does not allow us ample
time
Use synonyms
 even to go to the galleries.
Linking Words
Instead if
Accept comma addition
Instead, if
needed to
Accept comma addition
needed, to
 research, people just go to the internet and every information
are
Suggestion
is
 available there within a few clicks. On top of that, it is undeniable that the traditional
art
Use synonyms
 is not as interesting as the three-dimensional images. Fortunately, there are several measures to make a paradigm shift
such
Linking Words
 as
digitalizing
put into digital form, as for use in a computer
digitizing
digitalising
 the traditional
art
Use synonyms
 and introduce it at
earlier age
Suggestion
an earlier age
 to children. On the one hand, embedding livable interaction can attract more people to visit and change their mindset of
museum
Suggestion
the museum
a museum
 is not necessary means boring but it is informative and interactive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, introducing
variety
Suggestion
varies
varied
variant
varying
 forms of
art
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as acrylic, pencil sketching, or chalk paintings will intrigue the natural love for
art
Use synonyms
 since childhood. In conclusion, various approaches can be deployed to bring back people to
art
Use synonyms
 galleries in certain nations where they do not find the interest in it anymore.
Submitted by thao_yasay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital era
  • online galleries
  • allure
  • economic factors
  • cultural pursuits
  • societal interests
  • innovative
  • engaging exhibitions
  • virtual reality (VR) experiences
  • accessible
  • contemporary
  • promote
  • art education
  • awareness
  • foster
  • appreciation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: