With technology speeding up, more and more young people begin to use mobile phones and the Internet, but old people have little chance to be exposed to them. What ways could mobile phone and the Internet be useful to old people? How can old people be encouraged to use this new technology?

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In the modern world,

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

technology devices

such

Linking Words

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

are an unavoidable thing

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for youngsters. These are very

much

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

helpful for the older generation to minimize laziness and to communicate with others. Here I am explaining how it helps them to expose new technology. Internet on

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

a mobile

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

is giving a facility for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elder people to

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

medical

appointments

Use synonyms

easily. Applications are helpful

to get

Change preposition

in getting

show examples

consultations and can help them to book

appointments

Use synonyms

directly over the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

without bothering someone. It overcomes the hassle of creating direct

appointments

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, my grandfather can seek doctor availability without my help.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

helps the doctor to view all

appointments

Use synonyms

together as a report

instead

Linking Words

of being created by an assistant.

In addition

Linking Words

, when a person

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

elder

Correct your spelling

older

show examples

, he retires from his job and might remain at home

while

Linking Words

his family members go to work; which creates loneliness.

For instance

Linking Words

, the modern

internet enabled

Add a hyphen

internet-enabled

show examples

gadgets have many applications which

allows

Change the verb form

allow

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

one to

show examples

chat with a person on the other side, over the connected network.

This

Linking Words

helps them to create a direct way to interact with

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

friends, at no extra cost

unlike

Add the comma(s)

, unlike

show examples

a telephone call.

For example

Linking Words

, my father used to have video calls with my kids more frequently than paying a direct visit. In conclusion, a mobile phone can be a greater level of virtual assistance to elderly people. It can assist to get nursing assistance and to remain occupied with certain entertainments and news. The

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

scenarios encourage them to use new technology and to speed up with it.

mohan.mattWed Aug 21 2019

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the question by discussing the ways mobile phones and the Internet can be useful to old people, and offers examples to support its points. However, the points made could be more clearly linked to the task and the examples could be more specific to the needs of old people.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are supported with examples. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, better transition words and phrases could be used to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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With technology speeding up, more and more young people begin to use mobile phones and the Internet, but old people have little chance to be exposed to them. What ways could mobile phone and the Internet be useful to old people? How can old people be encouraged to use this new technology?

Your opinion

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

children spending a lot of time watching tv and playing computer games however it doesn't help in improving their mental abilities . Do you agree or disagree?

It is thought by some that a school teachers’ role is to motivate and inspire students. However, other people believe that a teacher’s primary role is to pass on knowledge. What do you think is the role of a teacher?

Everyone should stay in school until they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?