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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are moving to other countries despite the long distances to secure a better life for themselves and/or their families. However, this has brought various issues to the origin and destination countries. Why is international migration a controversial issue?

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Introduction
It is true that migration is hot topic in the world which governments blame to each other
also
Linking Words
 looking for
affective
producing or capable of producing an intended result or having a striking effect
effective
 solutions. More and more people are moving from under-
development
Suggestion
developed
developing
 countries to developed or developing countries to have
better life prospects event
Suggestion
a better life prospects event
 it is
illigal
prohibited by law or by official or accepted rules
illegal
illegally
immigation
migration into a place (especially migration to a country of which you are not a native in order to settle there)
immigration
. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 issue is widener whenever the average income gap and economy and stable politics
among
Suggestion
between
 countries increases
significant
Suggestion
significantly
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the migrant
as a result
Linking Words
 of hunger, poverty of civil
war which
Accept comma addition
war, which
 were always
refuse
Suggestion
refused
 by almost countries or they only give temporary camp before moving to the other
country
Use synonyms
. The reason of
this
Linking Words
 issue is that migrant increase
sharply which
Accept comma addition
sharply, which
 cause over budget and
criminal
Suggestion
crime
 rate rising up.
For example
Linking Words
, in Liber and Siry, every day there were a number of people try to cross to the Red sea by boat to come
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 Egypt or Italy,
however
Linking Words
, both two countries do not permit to migrant come to
sea
the seat within a bishop's diocese where his cathedral is located
see
 – territories event they really die.
Besides
Linking Words
, there are there a phenomenon for poor
country
Use synonyms
 that many
individual
Accept comma addition
individual, such
such
Linking Words
 as like doctors, business officers or professor in poor
country
Use synonyms
 are being attracted by
developed ones
Suggestion
the developed ones
as a result
Linking Words
 of
old policy
Suggestion
old policies
the old policy
 and imbalance income.
For instance
Linking Words
, there were many Chinese’s
professor
Suggestion
professors
seek
Suggestion
seeking
 an opportunity to stay in America or
Canadian
Suggestion
Canada
.
Body paragraph 2
In contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend dramatically impact on the original
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the number of labour decline sharply while in destination
country
Use synonyms
, they may be
unemloyed
not engaged in a gainful occupation
unemployed
 due to language issue or cannot integrate
in
Suggestion
into
with
local community
Suggestion
the local community
local communities
a local community
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the some destination countries has
program
Suggestion
programs
 to encourage skill people
immigrant
Suggestion
immigrate
immigrated
 to work
such
Linking Words
 as Canada, Australia. It was objected by poor countries.
Conclusion
In conclusion, with
evidence
Suggestion
the evidence
 I have mentioned above, I strongly argue that governments have to negotiate to control
this
Linking Words
 trend due to it is not useful for both.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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