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Some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that it has more positive effects on our lives.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #fashion #lives #effects
Fashion
 plays an important part in the life of human beings.History provides enough evidence to the fact that it was part and parcel of the lives of
people
 from the medieval era.In present times, sadly, the influence of vogue has reached a point where it has many more drawbacks than advantages.I would like to support my viewpoint with arguments in the upcoming paragraphs. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
 opine that
fashion
 has a negative impact on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. There are several reasons for that. First and foremost, it leads to excessive spending of money resulting in financial instability of a person.
For instance
, a person spends much more than his capacity for
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 trends just to
show-off
Correct your spelling
show off
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and satisfy his ego.
Secondly
, it leads to wastage of crucial time which would have been utilized in a much better way
otherwise
.To add on, it is quite common for
people
 to spend hours searching for clothes
in-line
Correct your spelling
in line
show examples
 with the latest styles on various e-commerce websites.
Thirdly
, going after fresh crazes distracts students from their studies and they spend their valuable time following the latest trends.
Moreover
, they get carried away by the glamorous lifestyle of various celebrities.
On the other hand
, some
people
 hold a different opinion.First of all, good styling helps an individual to stand apart from the crowd.
Additionally
, increased self-confidence helps one to succeed in various aspects of life.Second of all, following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh trends makes a person aware of global styles.
Also
, it enhances the personality of an individual, making him a
well informed
Add a hyphen
well-informed
show examples
 citizen.
To conclude
,
although
 there are enormous positive effects of
fashion
. But indeed, the negative effects are too dire to ignore. We need to regulate the effect of
fashion
 in our lives so that it does not affect us badly.
Submitted by singhjaydeep.25 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay adequately addresses the given topic and presents arguments for both views. However, some points lack development and clarity, affecting the overall coherence.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and effectively discusses both views. However, make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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