Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. What extent do you agree or disagree?

The
rate
of juvenile
crime
is increasing within a fraction of
minute
Correct article usage
a minute
show examples
in some countries. Some people think that it can only be reduced if there are more
police
officers patrolling the different areas. From my perspective,
this
method of controlling
criminals
is not always effective and definitely not the only
in
Correct pronoun usage
one in
show examples
the century of cutting-edge technology.
To begin
with, there is a misconception that if authorities allocate more
police
to areas where the
rate
of offenders is high, the security status in those places will probably be improved .There are some examples which are worth mentioning. Despite
great
Change the article
a great
the great
show examples
number of
police
workers in developed European countries
such
as Belgium, France and the Netherlands, numerous terroristic
crimes
in recent years have not been prevented. It can be seen that as soon as the
police
leave the hot spots, the
criminals
can come back and
this
measure
fail
Change the verb form
fails
show examples
to address other
crimes
that may occur online or
indoor
Correct your spelling
indoors
show examples
.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, many hardened
criminals
who are well-prepared and get ready to encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
authority, including fights with
police
are not likely to be arrested
Furthermore
, the
crime
rate
can be manipulated
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
many other ways. By installing CCTV systems, the streets will be put under control twenty-four hours per day.
Thus
, there is no need for the presence of security forces.
In addition
, enforcing stringent civil laws can
also
be a deterrent to
crime
. If there is strict punishment for
crimes
like robbery, kidnapping, murder etc.
then
criminals
will be more scared of doing
such
crimes
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
there should be a ban on the use of liquor and drugs,
that is
one of the factors to instigate the atrocious mind of people. Another solution which authorities could
perform
Verb problem
use
show examples
to tackle criminal issues is to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society out of disorder by developing the economy. When a huge number of job are created, the unemployment
rate
, which is one of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
reason leading to the growth of
crimes
, are more likely to be reduced. In conclusion, increasing the number of
police
officers
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the roads is not a reliable solution to reduce
crime
. There should be a change in the legal system and tougher laws should be made by the government to reduce the criminal acts.
Submitted by chowsp03 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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