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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight: Reasons and solutions.

#countries #people #children
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It has been established that in many countries
,
Accept space
,
 people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight and
this
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 essay will point out
reasons
Suggestion
the reasons
 and possible solutions. In my own opinion, unhealthy eating habits and lack of
exercise
Use synonyms
, leads to obesity, and children are the main victims. In many countries, we have an array of fast food outlets, where cheap and affordable snacks as well as ice cream are being sold.
Such
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 menu attracts kids. One one hand, because of their love
for
Suggestion
of
 junk food, and they are always the easy targets with adverts done by the fast food companies. It is because of
this
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, more effort should be
done
produced by a manufacturing process
made
 to educate children on healthy living and the importance
for
Suggestion
of
 regular
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, being overweight is not good for the health, because an obese person has more risk in getting life threatening diseases
such
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 as
,
Accept space
,
 stroke
,
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,
hypertension and diabetes.
Hence
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, an obese person would live less than someone who has a good eating routine, and goes to the gym regularly. So in the case of children, parents should have a balanced diet time table at home.
For example
Linking Words
, regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 can be done by a family together, it could be on weekends when everyone can participate together. In a university in Ukraine, every student / course, have gym class added to their curriculum.
This
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 is
also
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 fun and a good way to stay healthy, most especially those who have sedentary habits. In conclusion, it is a good thing many countries are aware, of the dangers of being overweight and obese. Regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 and healthy eating will combat
this
Linking Words
 issue of overweight kids if we start now.
Submitted by onibokun9 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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