IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

2. Some people say that rich country should give money to poor country. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #money #responsibility
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The rich countries must give economic support to poorer countries to increase the standard of living in those countries. I partially agree with it as only that won’t compensate or increase GDP or standard of living. A
person
Use synonyms
 with a skill is more important than a skill less
person
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 with a hundred dollar as he, the skilled
person
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 may work hard and earn his living by himself, whereas the other
person
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 might use the borrowed
amount
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 and make his living for a month But if a hundred
dollar
Suggestion
dollars
 is given to a skilled
person
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 he will multiply the
amount
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. Same goes with countries, if they are provided with only money the poverty will be eradicated for a short
amount
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 of time. But investing on the skilled labour or making the people skilled and
then
Linking Words
 investing is a better course of action.
Although
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, if the investments are intended on the skilled labour there are many more factors which influence it like government policies, transparency etc. If the investments are not used properly by corrupted political officials it will be like
transfering
transfer somebody to a different position or location of work
transferring
 ice using bare hands. The way ice melts to water and the size reduces when it reaches the
last
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person
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 the investments will fill the pockets of the corrupted officials. So the government should be transparent.
Although
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 the officials are not corrupt if
investment
Suggestion
the investment
 is utilised in an inefficient way the
amount
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that is
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 donated will be of no use. Here is an example from a CEO of a corporate giant Ali Baba.” If you give money and banana to a monkey the monkey prefers banana to the latter as they don’t know how to use it.” Same goes to nations
also
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 if the money is not used effectively there won’t be any eradication of poverty.
Submitted by luckymicky97 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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