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Band 5.5

In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls

#years #shops #customers #travel #malls
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Of late, more and more customers are moving to large shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
Centers
 and malls rather than the small local shops, and
this
 has forced these shops to close. In my
opinion
Accept comma addition
opinion, this
this
 is a negative development which can make people lose their jobs and
also
 it may affect the tourism. One serious problem that can arise from the
closure
 of the small shops is that the competition between the small shops and the large shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
centre
 will disappear.
As a result
 the large malls will stop providing discounts on the goods as they do not face competition;
therefore
, they will not reduce the prices.
For example
, malls offer discounts throughout the year to keep their customers away from the small shops.
Thus
, the
closure
 of small shops will affect the customers. Another issue is that many people will lose their jobs and become unemployed.
In other words
, when the small shops close, people employed by them will lose their source of income, and that will put them in a difficult situation.
For example
, many families run small shops to earn their living. When they go out of business, their families will struggle to survive.
Finally
, the
closure
 of small shops in some places will affect the tourism industry. Many tourists prefer the small shops in the streets
instead
 of the big malls, and the reason behind
this
 is that walking in an old beautiful street watching people doing performances and other people shopping is more joyous than being inside a large building of concrete. In conclusion,
although
 it has become easier for people to do shopping in one large
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
, the
closure
 of small malls has brought too many problems for
this
 to be considered a positive development.
Submitted by amrvsanchez on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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