IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion?

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It is imperative to have a healthy lifestyle. A few nations incur a lot of expense to make the use of the bike more commutable.
Although
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,
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 there are various advantages to
this
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, it cannot be the best solution to
traffic
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 congestion.
To begin
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 with, there are the main reasons why a nation spends money on bicycle
usage
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 could be in order to reduce
traffic
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 congestion and pollution.
Traffic
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 is a rising concern across many countries. In order to reduce the
traffic
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 jam the government have encouraged people to use bicycles. They have
also
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 invested in building a separate path for the convenience of bike riders.
In addition
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, it would
also
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 help in reducing the pollution levels in the city. If more
number of
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individuals
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 reduce the
usage
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 of motor vehicles, the pollution levels could be decreased to a great
extend
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extent
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.
However
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, increasing the
usage
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 of
bicycle
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bicycles
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 cannot be the best solution to reduce
traffic
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congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
. Rather
by
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apply
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increasing the
usage
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 of public transportation would be a more effective way to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion. Their various reasons to support the same.
First
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First,
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 the distance to commute, bicycles cannot be used by a large group of
individuals
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.
For example
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, not all
individuals
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 can commute by bike if the distance they need to travel is far.
Moreover
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, if the government can develop
the
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apply
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public transport
this
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 could help
in
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apply
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people
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 the use of private vehicles
,
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apply
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 and would lead
in
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to
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 reducing
traffic
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 to a greater
extend
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extent
show examples
.
To conclude
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, one could agree that to a small
extend
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extent
show examples
 we could reduce the
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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. But, in order to have a greater impact the government need to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public transportation, which can be accessible to a larger group of
individuals
Use synonyms
 as compared to a bicycle.

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task response
The essay provides a reasonable response to the prompt. However, the ideas could be presented in a more coherent and cohesive manner.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is evident, but there is scope for improvement in organizing the ideas more effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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