IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion?

#people #music #news #radio #trend
Music
 plays an indispensable role in human
being
Suggestion
being's
 life. Mostly teenagers prefer
hearing
the act of hearing attentively
listening
 to
music
 as compared to the news on a
radio
. In my opinion, people can relieve their stress level to listen to
music
 and it is a largely positive
trend but
Accept comma addition
trend, but
 it has
also
 some negative impact on them. It is certainly true that individuals can do whole things with the help of
music
. The main advantage is that as people listen to several kinds of
music
such
 as pop, jazz, folk, and even traditional
music
,
this
 may help to get insight into distinctive cultures and languages
instead
 of
radio
 because of
radio
 is less popular among young people these days.
For instance
, even if
individuals commute
Suggestion
the individuals commute
 to certain places,
then
 they can easily spend their leisure time
to listen
Suggestion
listening
 to different
music
 and people feel comfortable and relaxed. It has
also
 a negative impact on youngsters life. In
music
, they can only listen to pop and
jazz which
Accept comma addition
jazz, which
 are not essential for them, but on
radio
Suggestion
the radio
, there is innumerable news related to crimes, sports, and education which they could aware of whole things in their life. As a consequence, the majority of people would not know about what is happening around them, if a
radio
 has not listened by humanity. The main reason to listen to
music
 is that nowadays people have a hectic schedule to do
such
 work,
thus
 they listen to
music
 owing to which individuals want to relieve their stress level. In my perspective, both
radio
 and
music
 are joint
endeavors
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavours
 due to both are equally important for the development of every person. To conclude,
although
 it is a decent way to listen to different types of
music
 because of young people can get a chance to enhance their knowledge of several things
, yet
Suggestion
, yet they also
also
 they should be concerned about demerits of
music
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: