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Band 4.5

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (such as the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #money #transport #priorities #environment
Public
transport
 has become a basic necessity in small
as well as
 big cities. Many
people
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments should work on improving
transport
 mediums and invest in rapid
transport
 vehicles. In my opinion, I think every person wants
affordable
Correct article usage
an affordable
show examples
 and comfortable journey so regulators must spend some budget amount to develop
transport
 facilities.
This
 essay will discuss, why some
people
 think it is advantageous, and others
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 find it beneficial. To start with, if faster public
transport
available
Add a missing verb
is available
show examples
,
then
people
 might prefer it rather than using their own vehicle which will eventually lead to less traffic in the city. To state an example, after
Delhi
Correct article usage
the Delhi
show examples
 metro inception in city,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of Delhi's citizens have stopped using personal cars to travel
instead
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they use
metro
Add an article
the metro
show examples
 to reach their
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
.
Additionally
, if less traffic is there in any city
then
 pollution will be reduced.
For example
, significant improvement was observed in air quality when Delhi authorities
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
applied
odd-even
Correct article usage
the odd-even
show examples
 rule which was to ban even
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
Change preposition
of car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 on even
date
Fix the agreement mistake
dates
show examples
 and odd number
cars
Change preposition
of cars
show examples
 on odd dates.
Furthermore
, rapid
transport
 will reduce travel time,
thus
people
's travelling to office will be
hassle free
Add a hyphen
hassle-free
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, there are many compelling reasons why some
people
 think that
transport
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 should not be given top priority by the authorities.
Such
people
 believe that other basic amenities like education, environment and
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 should be the higher priority as they will affect the masses. And if better medical facilities are provided in government hospitals
then
people
 will not have to splurge their money in private hospitals.
Similarly
, education is one
such
 area which should not be ignored. In conclusion, the government should keep investing in
this
 area to make transportation easily available and affordable
while
 taking care of other departments too.

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task response
Provide specific examples to support your points
coherence and cohesion
There is a good use of linking words, but the organization can be improved for better coherence
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • reliance
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable development
  • conservation efforts
  • pollution
  • traffic jams
  • sustainability
  • urban living
  • prioritizing
  • environmental protection
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