IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The rise in crime rate in many countries what are the courses what are the solutions

#rise #crime #rate #countries #courses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The recent increase in the rate of crimes in many countries is alarming.
This
Linking Words
 is due to the level of unemployment and undue exposures.
This
Linking Words
 increase in
crime
Use synonyms
 rate can easily be reduced to the barest minimum by providing jobs for people and controlling the kind of
information
Use synonyms
 they are exposed to. The
crime
Use synonyms
 degree is always on the high side when people are not gainfully employed. The saying that an idle's mind is the devils workshop is very apt in
this
Linking Words
 case. When people are not gainfully employed and they have to meet certain basic life essential needs
such
Linking Words
 as clothing, feeding and so on, they tend to take to
crime
Use synonyms
. In a related development, the level of exposures of the people is so high. The advent of the internet gives people access to different kinds of
information
Use synonyms
, both positive and negative. Where the
information
Use synonyms
 is mostly negative, people tend to act or behave according to what they often see.
For example
Linking Words
, when someone
that is
Linking Words
 criminally inclined watches movies on crimes and how it is perpetuated, he easily takes to it because what we always see has a way of influencing our behaviours. There are many approaches to reducing
crime
Use synonyms
 across different countries. The
first
Linking Words
 will be for the government to provide job opportunities for all. If the government makes it a point of duty to provide employment opportunities and provide an enabling environment for job creations, the quota of
crime
Use synonyms
 will reduce.
For instance
Linking Words
, someone
that is
Linking Words
 gainfully employed and has a hope of what to eat tomorrow will never take to
crime
Use synonyms
. Why would he?.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the government through its agencies can censor the kind of
information
Use synonyms
 people have access to, both through the internet and in movies.
This
Linking Words
 is really important because people are easily influenced by what they see. As an illustration, a child that grows up in an environment where he has not seen how stealing is done, will find it difficult, if not impossible to steal. As I conclude, the alarming rate of crimes in many nations is caused by unemployment and undue exposure.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be controlled by creating job opportunities for all and censoring the
information
Use synonyms
 people are exposed to.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: