IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Question: Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#children #amount #time #sports #support
There are so many sports are there in the world like cricket, hockey, football, archery, chess and so on. Today's young generation is not only interested in
study
Suggestion
the study
, but they have
also
 started to
shows
Suggestion
show
 interest in
sport
Suggestion
sports
the sport
 too. Many youngsters are participating in
compititions
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competitions
competition
 held at state and national level. Spending more
time
 on
sport
 is good for thos who want to be a sportsman and make their career in
sport
 only. On seeing the good side of the games, it makes us strong and healthy too. You have to be physically fit all
time
. You need to be a quick learner and good decision makers as well. Exercise on a daily basis and eat healthy food. You have to be an expert in any single game,
then
 only you can be part of the national team. You will perform better and better by practicing more and more and for that you have to spend
big portion
Suggestion
a big portion
 of your
time
. Bad side of using
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of
time
 on the game, you are getting tired and if you are not good enough in
game
Suggestion
the game
, you will be thrown out of the court. So you have to give best, you
can not
can not
cannot
 attend social functions. I still remember that my
cousine
the child of your aunt or uncle
cousin
 brother was not
come
Suggestion
coming
in
Suggestion
to
 my wedding due to he has a match in England. So choosing a
sport
 is a good
decision but
Accept comma addition
decision, but
also
 make sure that if you are not good, it's not for you, choose any other option as your career.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: