It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults? Some people suggest to adults that they do unpaid work in their societies. It has many advantage and disadvantages. I will discuss both and I thik drewbacks ourweight merits

#adults #period #work #people #community #requirement #societies #advantage #thik #drewbacks #ourweight #merits

Some people suggest to adults that they do unpaid

work

in their societies. It has many

advantage

Suggestion

advantages

and disadvantages. I will discuss both and I

thik

judge or regard; look upon; judge

think

drewbacks

Suggestion

the drawbacks

drawbacks

drawback

ourweight

Suggestion

our weight

merits

To begin

with, there are many disadvantages to youth if they do unpaid

work

Firstly they

Accept comma addition

Firstly, they

do not focus on their

study

Suggestion

studies

because most of time on social

work

Furthermore

, they do not improve their new technology skill as we as new knowledge because they

Suggestion

show their interest in unpaid or social

work

Accept space

Finally they

Accept comma addition

Finally, they

don't complete their basic needs and depends on their parents

Moreso

Suggestion

More so

, it has many

bnitfits

financial assistance in time of need

benefits

if they do unpaid

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

they will be aware about their societies and improve their communication skills through the many

seminar

Suggestion

seminars

related to health and drugs.

In addition

, they meet with new people and inhale their knowledge in different streams. As well as

they

of them or themselves

their

well responsible. To sum u

Accept space

, drawbacks

ourweigh

Suggestion

our weight

t merit because in

this

age enjoyabl

Accept comma addition

age, enjoyable

e for adult so they do not ready for any

responsibil

the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force

responsibility

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

169 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say that films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some believe that the development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between langauges automatically . Therefore , it is not necessary to learn foreign languages any more . Do you agree or disagree

Fossil fuels (coal, oil, natural gas) are the main source in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative source of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development?

More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?