Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world.Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

As of recently, childhood obesity has increased and
that is
mainly due to the
expanision
the act of increasing (something) in size or volume or quantity or scope
expansion
of the fast food market. Nowadays, the
tempetation
something that seduces or has the quality to seduce
temptation
temptations
of food has reached new heights as everywhere you g adverts are hung up: Delicious burgers and sugary sweets.
Howewer
Suggestion
However
,
this
obesity has shown to be a lifelong problem and not just baby fat.
This
brings illnesses and reduces the life of these children. Many people believe that the way to combat
that is
to remove adverts from public places especially schools and colleges. For sure the kids are
then
more motivated to lose the weight and
thus
focus on replacing their bad habits with
excersice
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
and a
more healthy
Suggestion
healthier
lifestyle.
However
,
instead
of removing
advets
a better and more effective way to
encourge
contribute to the progress or growth of
encourage
the kids would be to simply raise
awarness
having knowledge of
awareness
about obesity and its dangers.
This
, with lessons that teach them how to eat better and
excersice
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
more frequently would be more beneficial. For
this
to be taught at a young age is crucially important.
On the other hand
, removing the adverts can
also
help them stay on the right track with their own self without the school's help. They can be tempted less and be more
encourged
inspired with confidence
encouraged
to lose the weight and achieve a better lifestyle that fits
themm
objective case of they
them
uniquely. A well-rounded solution would be to hang inspirational quotes around
eduction
the activities of educating or instructing; activities that impart knowledge or skill
education
oriented
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
instead
; about both weight loss and other important issues. Overall,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
think that while it could be motivational for the adverts to be removed, that simply will not cause the change
that is
needed. It is of
upmost
of the greatest possible degree or extent or intensity
utmost
importance that
this
issue has better solutions since it can be like a life sentence for some. In my opinion raising
awarness
having knowledge of
awareness
in
schools for
Accept comma addition
schools, for
exaple
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
would be more beneficial.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: