IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

#“without #punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society
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Today we are living in the world where the impact of crimes is a heated topic t and often discussed. It is acknowledged that in the absence of the
death
Use synonyms
 sentence, people would live in the fear of
crime
Use synonyms
 with a surge in the number of criminals.
This
Linking Words
 penalty,
therefore
Linking Words
, plays a vital role in deterring
crime
Use synonyms
. While
this
Linking Words
 may be true to a certain extent, I would agree that there are superior alternatives that could be taken.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is understandable why people advocate the
death
Use synonyms
 penalty. The key explanation for
this
Linking Words
 view is that human life would be more safe and safe if the serious
offense
Suggestion
offender
offence
offences
 knows they could be executed because of their unfeelingly
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
. Whenever they plan to commit a
crime
Use synonyms
, the felony might think about the
death
Use synonyms
 as a consequence, so it is
this
Linking Words
 worry could constrain the sin happens.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 a thinking is
flaw
Suggestion
flawed
 as scientists agree that
this
Linking Words
punishment
Use synonyms
 has no deterrent effect. Viet Nam exemplifies
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
punishment
Use synonyms
 has applied for many years, the murder rate in
this
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 country, which has been over
hundreds according
Accept comma addition
hundreds, according
 to the GSO, is still high during these years and would raise significantly in the future.
This
Linking Words
 evidence proves that homicides still occur even when killers know that they might be sentenced to
death
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
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 is not a holistic approach to vicious
crime
Use synonyms
. In lieu of capital
punishment
Use synonyms
, there are several actions that governments could take to solve the problem. One of the effective solutions could be
to spend
Suggestion
spending
 more on education and concentrate more on the quality than the quantity of training.
This
Linking Words
 would help raise the awareness of dwellers about the law, legislation and the value of life.
In addition
Linking Words
, education
also
Linking Words
 gives them the
sustainable fundamental
Accept comma addition
sustainable, fundamental
 knowledge in order to enter the job. Another measure is to ensure that all parolees have proper cognitive about life and could be
bring
Suggestion
brought
bringing
 more benefits
for
Suggestion
to
 society when they integrate
to
Suggestion
into
with
community
Suggestion
the community
 again. In conclusion, while we could prevent heinous
crime
Use synonyms
 by applying capital
punishment
Use synonyms
, I believe that there are superior alternatives to deter it
instead
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 heartless method.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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