In many countries ,children are becoming overweight and unhealthy.some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do u agree or disagree

Children are
obess
excessively fat
obese
and unhealthy in many nations and some people
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believes
believed
that government must have the responsibility to solve
this
problem.
However
, l do not fully agree
to
Suggestion
with
that view, parents
also
have
responsiblity
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
for maintaining health of children.
First
of all, the children are getting chubby and unhealthy because of
vast use
Suggestion
the vast use
of junk foods and it is
also
very dangerous to
health
Accept comma addition
health, for
for example
, many studies proved that many children are becoming overweight by the use of junk foods.So parents have the main
responsiblity
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
for making
children
Suggestion
the children
healthy by controlling them from eating these type of
fooda
any substance that can be metabolized by an animal to give energy and build tissue
foods

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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