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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#summarise #weight #measurements #people #charlestown #information #features #comparisons
The charts outline the Charlestown
people
 of
age
group
 20 to 69 into
underweight
, ideal, overweight and obese in 1995 and 2015.
Overall
, what stands out from the chart is the rate of
obesity
 in all
age
 groups of
people
 increased rapidly. It can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
 be seen that
underweight
Correct article usage
the underweight
show examples
 among all groups saw a significant decline. In the 60-69
age
group
, ideal weight inhabitants plunged over the period. From the
age
group
 20 to 29, the zero obese
people
 in 1995 increased slightly to around 5% of the total population in 2015. The rates of
underweight
 and ideal weight remained nearly the same in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years. In the
age
group
Add a comma
,group
show examples
 30-39 in 1995
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 is 0% and in 2015
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underweight
people
 contribute nearly 2% which is
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 among all the categories. The percentage of ideal
people
 in the
age
group
 30 to 49 went down by nearly 20%.
Similarly
, the
obesity
 rates in the same
group
 increased by at least 15%. The
obesity
 rate soared nearly 4 and 6 times among
50
Correct article usage
the 50
show examples
-59 and 60-69
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 respectively. From the
age
group
 60-69, the number of
people
 with ideal weight reduced to below 5% in 2015.
In contrast
, there are nearly thrice as many
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
overweigh
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
 inhabitants in 2015 in the same
group
. Both overweight and
underweight
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 had been reduced by around 17% and 2% respectively in the
age
group
 50-59.
Submitted by Goutham on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, group, underweight, obesity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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