IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
It is argued that, funds wasted by states on the arts, can be used in
better way
Suggestion
the best way
best way
on
Suggestion
to
for
 something else.
This
 essay totally agree with that statement because, Education and other social services are
better more
Accept comma addition
better, more
 in need
for
Suggestion
of
 those
money
Suggestion
monies
, and
art
 has no value add to the communities. Wasting
money
 on
art
 by the government will not add any value to the
society
.
That is
 to say that,
art
 as a field can be for a person to express their
feelings but
Accept comma addition
feelings, but
 will not help in improving or providing any beneficiary services to the
society
, If
art
 does not exist in the
society
, it will not have a huge
impact
 on the communities.
For example
, In Egypt government use to spend huge amount of
money
 on producing films before, but since they stop the funds the
last
 two years no major
impact
 happen
on
Suggestion
in
to
 the
society
. Education and
health
care
 are services which really need financial support
by
Suggestion
of
 the states. In other word, spending the
money
 on improving education and
health
 services will have a huge positive
impact
 on the
society
,
Accept space
,
 it will
results
Suggestion
result
 in well-educated
society
,
Accept space
,
 building other
health
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 will improve the waiting time for the patient and reduce the strain on other
health
care
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
.
For instance
, in Qatar the government funding the education and
health
care
 services, resulted
on
Suggestion
in
 being one of the best
health
care
 services in the world, and having a variety of colleges that give the chance to their people to choose from. In conclusion,
this
 essay totally agree that the funds spent on
art
 by the states should be used elsewhere, as
art
 will not add any value to the
society
 like education and
health
care
 services which will have a great
impact
 on
society
 if the
money
 is spent on improving them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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