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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, children tend to spend a great deal of time playing computer games. Some believe this is a beneficial trend while others think it is detrimental. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #time #computer #games #believe #trend
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Although
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, some people think that
excessively
Suggestion
excessive
 playing games on the
computer
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial, others believe it is harmful. In my opinion, overindulgence in
computer
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 games will make
such
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 young ones poor academically, lack communication skills and copy deviant
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
behaviour
 which would ultimately pose a high danger to their mental health.
Firstly
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, too much
time
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 playing games takes
time
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 off more important aspects of life. We all have 24 hours a day and the more
time
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 a child spends playing games, the less
time
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 he has to partake in other up building activities
such
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 as school assignments or house chores and
this
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 impacts negatively on the child's academic performance.
Secondly
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, video or
computer
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 games are designed to be addictive. Programmers who design these games try to
input
bring in from abroad
import
 graphics which can capture the entire mind of a
player
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 making him seek more playing
time
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. The more the
player
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 gets involved, the more likely he is to imitate their online characters which mostly are violent heroes and these can confuse a young mind into behaving badly or nurturing violent tendencies.
Finally
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, young ones who excessively play
computer
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 games end up lacking good communication skills. Most games usually have written options and a
player
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 just choose one of the
options
Accept comma addition
options, therefore
therefore
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 restricting the
player
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 from expressing his views.
Therefore
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, If a young one excessively partakes in
Linking Words
this games
Suggestion
this game
these games
, he would most likely be lacking the ability to communicate effectively or negotiate constructively. In conclusion, granted, there are varying views as to the effect
computer
Use synonyms
 gaming, I believe that overindulgence would ultimately be detrimental to the mental growth of a child
Submitted by bamikejeremiah on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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