IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe that people who do physical work should be paid on par with the people who have high level degree. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #work #par #level
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that the manual workforce should be assessed as same as the highly educated employees. From my own perspective, educated professionals deserve to be paid
higher
Suggestion
a higher salary
higher salaries
salary
Use synonyms
 than the less educated people who always do hard
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 due to specialized job requirements and the value of knowledge.
First
Linking Words
 of all, people who do the manual
work
Use synonyms
 contribute to the development of a country. These days, in the construction industry, workers receive more
salary
Use synonyms
 than the previous times.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country, doctors cannot get more
salary
Use synonyms
 than some construction
workers even
Accept comma addition
workers, even
 though the doctors who are highly educated because of our economic situation and a
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 market environment. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the blue
color
a band that fits around the neck and is usually folded over
collar
 workers might receive more
salary
Use synonyms
 than the white
color
a band that fits around the neck and is usually folded over
collar
 workers.
However
Linking Words
, white
color
a band that fits around the neck and is usually folded over
collar
 workers who have well educated should be receive more income because of their
work
Use synonyms
 requirements which need particular skills and knowledge which is accumulated by hardworking during the period from primary school to the university. Most highly educated people are paid more
salary
Use synonyms
 than less educated people who do physical
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the construction engineers never receive lower wages than their constructors who
work
Use synonyms
 under directly the engineers’ instructions. The reason of higher level assessment is that not only their specialized engineering knowledge is a valuable but
also
Linking Words
 their educational level is important
for
Suggestion
to
 their company. All in all,
although
Linking Words
 the manual workers contribute to the country’s development, they would get a less
salary
Use synonyms
 than highly educated people.
Submitted by vanchinsuren.amgalan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: