Some people think that mobile phones are most useful for their professional life other thinks that mobile phones are most useful in their personal life. Discuss of them and give your opinion.

present context

Suggestion

the present context

, where every living being is deeply engaged in achieving

there

of them or themselves

their

goals, mobile phones are the most popular medium that allows them to stay connected with the society or getting information to achieve professional goals.

However

, it is often debated if phones are more useful for private or

official live

Accept comma addition

official, live

and I will be touching on both the opinions and than draw a suitable conclusion.

To begin

with, having the ability to share personal experiences with nears and dears via call or rather, video chats these days.

Moreover

, having the smart communication device

lin

to or toward the inside of

pocket lets one connect

Suggestion

with

anyone around the world almost instantaneously

such

that one can have a discussion or inquire

aboute health

Suggestion

about the e health

about e health

of their loved ones who might be living thousands of kilometres away. There are many social media applications where people usually share their images and thoughts about the time they spend with friends or while having a family holiday which keeps everybody in their social circle aware of what is happening in one's life. When it comes to

professional side

Suggestion

the professional side

of things, smart phones are considered to be most effective to communicate with colleagues whether it is with a team member located in a different time zone or

initimating

bring into being

initiating

the manager about the task updates via official chat groups or voice call. The modern phone operating systems

also

offer a range of applications that can range from being showcasing your domain expertise with peers or getting training for new

skiil

an ability that has been acquired by training

skill

skills

development that will uplift the career. After carefully

analyzing

consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning

analysing

both

train

Suggestion

trains

of thoughts above, I strongly feel that mobile phones are not just a communication device used to reach out kith and kin but

also keep touch

Suggestion

also keep in touch

with fellow workers

Suggestion

office

Suggestion

the office

an office

. It is

also

the best source of information when it comes to knowing about what is happening in personal society as well as the professional world.

Submitted by abhinav.goel143 on Sat Sep 07 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that mobile phones are most useful for their professional life other thinks that mobile phones are most useful in their personal life. Discuss of them and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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