IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Now people spend less and less time at home. What are the causes? What are the effects on individual and society?

#people #time #home #effects #society
Nowadays people like to spend their most of
time
 outside rather than
home
. They spent their
time
 with friends
instead
 of family. The
first
 and foremost reason for
this
 is youth is
insterested
having or showing interest; especially curiosity or fascination or concern
interested
 in different types of activities which were not active before. They cannot sit at
home
 give
time
objective case of they
them
 to family members. As the
time
 passes, everything has changed.
Morever
in addition
Moreover
, they spent most of their
time
 outside
enjoy
Suggestion
enjoying
 with their friends. The main cause for
this
 is, they
can be involve
Suggestion
can involve
can be involved
 in bad company as they are young and they
donot
Suggestion
do not
 have that sense to find out who is right or bad for
them which
Accept comma addition
them, which
 in result can lead to many problems which can even make their future
worse
the waging of armed conflict against an enemy
wars
.
Furthermore
, I would like to say these days parents even
donot
Suggestion
do not
 keep
eye
Suggestion
an eye
 on
ther
of them or themselves
their
the
 child what they are doing out of
home
 and even parents are careless about their child. Society and individual can be
effected
acted upon; influenced
affected
 as they can indulge in different types of drugs which in turn result into bad health and condition.
Moreover these
Accept comma addition
Moreover, these
 days youngsters
donot
Suggestion
do not
 even like to discuss or take their decision as our elders say. To conclude, one must spend some quality
time
 at
home
 and can differentiate between right and wrong.
Submitted by nadya.hussain13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: