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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that parents have more important roles to play in children development.However, others argue that friends and television have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Children, since their birth, are always in learning mode. Either from their parents or from their surroundings,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.e.
friends
Suggestion
Friends
, television, society at large. As children are young, they will observe and follow their parents at
early
Suggestion
an early stage
stage
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 will learn from their playmates and classmates in their early years. At early
stage
Use synonyms
, parents will be their primary
soruce
the place where something begins, where it springs into being
source
 of contact and
thus
Linking Words
 will guide them through basic
life
Use synonyms
 skills. They will be
primary soruce
Suggestion
the primary source
primary source
a primary source
 of education in early
stage
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
development basic
Accept comma addition
development, basic
commuication
the activity of communicating; the activity of conveying information
communication
 skills which would have long lasting effect and
thus
Linking Words
 play an important role. Initial activities like crawl, walk, speech and other basic actions are mostly influenced by parents. As the time passes and
childern
a young person of either sex
children
 are introduced to the
playgroups
Suggestion
 and
then
Linking Words
 school, they will have an added
development
Use synonyms
 source in
form
Suggestion
the form
 of their playmates and classmates. They will
then
Linking Words
 begin the
next
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
 of learning, which would be more social and educational in nature and
thus
Linking Words
, shape their
life
Use synonyms
 in society and field of formal learning. As the ally-in-class helps a child with any specific
challange
take exception to
challenge
 in
study
Suggestion
the study
, T.V.
in
Suggestion
In
 a regulated environment, serves as an ally-at-home, helps child to know better of unknown world. As seen above, both the sources are somewhat
improtant
of great significance or value
important
 than the other at some point of the children's
life
Use synonyms
. One without the
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
, in a required degree of influence, would not be helpful for overall
development
Use synonyms
 of children.
Thus
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I would say, both parents as well as friends and television are important for a
mulit
Suggestion
multi
-
faciet
acting or moving or capable of acting or moving quickly
fast
development
Use synonyms
 of
kid's
Suggestion
a kid's life
the kid's life
life
Use synonyms
. And as,
development
Use synonyms
 is a never ending process, both would be required in relevant proportions at each
life
Use synonyms
stage
Use synonyms
 of
development
Use synonyms
 of the child.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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