In the future it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of old people than the younger people in many countries. Is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is estimated that in time to come many countries will have proportionately higher number senior citizens than adults and young people combined. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
is a negative development as
higher proportion
Suggestion
a higher proportion
of senior citizens would put enormous pressure on health care facilities and
tax
Use synonyms
revenues for
such
Linking Words
nations would
considerably fall
Suggestion
fall considerably
. One of the
downside
Suggestion
downsides
of
this
Linking Words
trend is that these nations would require higher number of medical centres to tackle the needs of these people. People above the age of 60 require periodic medical attention owing to the fact that at
this
Linking Words
age their immune system becomes weak, and they are more prone to illnesses.
This
Linking Words
means that
government
Suggestion
the government
of these national would need to set up additional facilities to meet the need of these people.
For example
Linking Words
, it is estimated that Japan government to double the number of health care facilities to
meets
Suggestion
meet
such
Linking Words
populations need by 2020. Another major drawback of
this
Linking Words
shift is that
this
Linking Words
would result in lesser
tax
Use synonyms
revenues for the authorities. As more and more people will turn senior
citizen they
Accept comma addition
citizen, they
will retire from their jobs and professions and start living on pension.
This
Linking Words
means that lesser percent of
population
Suggestion
the population
would be working;
as a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
phenomenon income
tax
Use synonyms
collection would decrease considerably.
For example
Linking Words
, income
tax
Use synonyms
collection in
UK
Suggestion
the UK
has decreased by 3 percent in
Linking Words
last decade
Suggestion
the last decade
as working population has decreased due to more retirements. To recapitulate, higher percentage of
aged
Suggestion
aging
people will not only put
strain
Suggestion
the strain
a strain
of medical facilities of a nation as they require regular
care but
Accept comma addition
care, but
also
Linking Words
result in decreased
tax
Use synonyms
revenue collection because of lesser working population which is not a positive development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: