These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is now well accepted that
majority
Suggestion
the majority
of children prefer playing with their computers over doing sports and I think
this
is a negative development which would
effect
have an effect upon
affect
children and society in many ways.
Firstly
, keeping your body and muscles working is proven to be helpful by many researches on physical aspects of
human body
Suggestion
the human body
.
For example
strong musculature would help
keeping
Suggestion
keep
joints
Suggestion
the joints
more stable and would decrease injuries like dislocations or disc hernias.
In addition active
Suggestion
In addition, active
life style would cause lower body weight. It is now scientifically proven that obesity is one of the main
reason
Suggestion
reasons
of diseases like diabetes, cancer and heart conditions. A big portion of public funds have been being allocated
on
Suggestion
for
to
fighting against those conditions which
otherwise
could be used for education or generating new jobs. It is
also
proven that exercise has an
affect
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
effect
on release of beneficial hormones like
endorphines
or
seretonins
. Those are known for keeping
mind
Suggestion
the mind
healthy and happy and I believe that
this
aspect is the most important impact of exercise on children’s lives. In conclusion,
although
developing technology useful in many ways, we should always promote physical activities for healthy individuals and society.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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