IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares the expenditure on different
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 by the people of four European countries; namely Britain, France, Italy and Germany. At the first glance,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 spent more money on
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Germans
Correct article usage
the Germans
show examples
 spent the least. It is worth noticing that,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 spent more than 170
thousand
Use synonyms
 pound sterling
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 photographic
films
Use synonyms
 which is the highest amount spent on any
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
. British
also
Linking Words
 spent more than 160
thousand
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 purchasing
Toys
Use synonyms
 and CDs, which is higher than that of
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any other nation. For perfumes, tennis racquets and
personal
Replace the word
personnel
show examples
 they spent more than other nations as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, French people spent around 165
thousand
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 purchasing photographic
films
Use synonyms
, which makes it the highest amount they spent on
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
. French citizens spent about 158
thousand
Use synonyms
 on
toys
Use synonyms
 which is a tie with Italians. For photographic
films
Use synonyms
,
toys
Use synonyms
 and CDs, their spending totalled
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest among the given four nations.
Finally
Linking Words
, they spent less than 150
thousand
Use synonyms
 on remaining
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
. Italian citizens spent around 150
thousand
Use synonyms
 on personal stereos, tennis racquets and CDs
while
Linking Words
 they spent about 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 more on photographic
films
Use synonyms
 and
toys
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, Germans spent
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fewer amount
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all
consumer
Use synonyms
 items than any other nation and their average spending was 145
thousand
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumer, goods, thousand, films, toys with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: