IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people have health problems just because they lead unhealthy lifestyle. what are the reasons and possible solutions?

#people #health #lifestyle
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In
this
Linking Words
 current world, many people are suffering with several personal
health
Use synonyms
 issues like obesity and heart problems due to eating junk food and don't do the regular
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
, to overcome
Linking Words
this issues
Suggestion
this issue
these issues
 they have a several solutions. In
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss about
reasons
Suggestion
the reasons
 and solutions for the issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the globalization era young generation
are working
Suggestion
is working
 in different time zones
hence
Linking Words
 they don't have get calender to eat,
therefore
Linking Words
 they are eating ready made junk meal like pizza, burger and pastas due to they don't have calender to prepare home snack. Because of consuming
these
denotes a person or thing
this
 kind of
iteam most
Accept comma addition
items, most
items most
 of the citizens are effected to several fitness problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
, due to busy work
schedules many
Suggestion
schedules, many
emloyees
a worker who is hired to perform a job
employees
 are not doing any regular
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 and always travelling to motor
vechiele
a conveyance that transports people or objects
vehicle
,
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 one cause
to
Suggestion
of
 getting many fitness problems.
For Example
Linking Words
:
Accept space
:
- As per world
health
Use synonyms
organazation
a group of people who work together
organization
organisation
organizations
 research, in the
world 40
Accept comma addition
world, 40
% of people are suffering with obesity and
helath
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
 issue due to eating unhealthy feed and no
physcial
involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit
physical
 activity for
body
Suggestion
the body
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, to overcome of these
health
Use synonyms
 problems everyone should change their lifestyle like to
aviod
stay clear from; keep away from; keep out of the way of someone or something
avoid
 eating outside bread and give importance to home cuisine, everyone should spare some hour
to
Suggestion
for
 them to prepare
Use synonyms
health menu
Suggestion
a healthy menu
healthy menu
theirfore
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
therefore
therefor
 they can
aviod
stay clear from; keep away from; keep out of the way of someone or something
avoid
 many issues. On the top of that need to do the regular
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 like walking and yoga
therefore
Linking Words
 body will fit and avoid many
health
Use synonyms
realted
being connected either logically or causally or by shared characteristics
related
issue
Suggestion
issues
 and
same moment
Suggestion
the same moment
 for small distance travel everyone should go by cycling or walking henceforth they can save to money and getting good
health
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion, in
this
Linking Words
 generation many people
are facing
Suggestion
are faced
 with several
health
Use synonyms
 problems like increase the body and heart problem due to eating
unhealth
not in or exhibiting good health in body or mind
unhealthy
 meat and no proper workouts to overcome of
this
Linking Words
 things eat
healthy bite
Suggestion
a healthy bite
 like
home made
made or produced in the home or by yourself
homemade
 eats with many proteins and to do the daily workout like walking, running and play any sports.
Submitted by chigurupati on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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