IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays in many countries woman have full time jobs. therefore, it is logical to share household task evenly between man and woman. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#countries #woman #time #jobs #household #man
In
this
 era of m
odernity women
Accept comma addition
modernity, women
play a magnificent role in every field. Presently, women are spending m
aximum hour
Suggestion
maximum hours
a maximum hour
on their jobs so it is necessary that domestic
work
 is equally d
evided
separated into parts or pieces
divided
among men and women. Here, I would like to accord with the given statement. Manifold points are there to support my point of view. Women feel stress free if they get help i
n
Suggestion
with
house
work
 by men. To illustrate, plethora of whole day
work
 makes women tired and physically weak. They have to
work
 on h
ouse.
Suggestion
the house
Therefore
, it is necessary to reduce their burden by helping i
n
Suggestion
with
their
work
. Apart from it, working women can pay more attention on their juveniles if men share household task.
For example
, h
ectic schedule
Suggestion
the hectic schedule
of women c
reate
Suggestion
creates
differences between children and parents. Mothers who do jobs are unable to confer proper caring
such
 as eating, talking, playing, to the children and
t
his
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
thus
create less intimacy between them.
Thus
, women can get some time for children if they get help from men.
Further
 emphasising on my point of view. In
this
 male domineering society women are supposed to be less valuable i
n
Suggestion
at
work
. s
o,
to a very great extent or degree
So
i
Accept space
,
t is important to confer equal
work
 to both the genders because men think that domestic
work
 is a piece of cake. They do not give values of women
work
. Thence, Men will definitely understand the value of their
work
 if they h
elps
Suggestion
help
women in family
work
. To recapitulate, Undeniably,
work
 is imperative in
this
 inflation era.
However
, still I believe that both the genders must share j
oin
fit as if by joints
joint
responsibility of everything.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: