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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work.

#world #families #parents #work
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Needs and demands
for
Suggestion
of
 many families are growing and
thus
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 in many
families
Accept comma addition
families, both
both
Use synonyms
 the parents go out for
work
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. With growing competition in the world,
parent's goal
Suggestion
the parent's goal
 is to give best to
thier
of them or themselves
their
there
three
 children and to do
this
Linking Words
both
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 parents
work
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 hard to earn enough money.
However
Linking Words
, children sometimes feel alone because there is no one in the house to talk to
them but
Accept comma addition
them, but
on the other
Linking Words
hand many
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hand, many
 children think that it is a benefit for the family as there is an additional income. If we look at
the brighter
Suggestion
the bright
 side of the topic, as mentioned
above there
Accept comma addition
above, there
 is
addition
Suggestion
the addition
an addition
 of extra income in the family. As the world
is growing
Suggestion
grows
,
cost
Suggestion
the cost
 of living is becoming more expensive as people are trying to get
more luxurious life
Suggestion
a more luxurious life
 for themselves.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
both
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 the parents
work
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, they can not only invest more
on
Suggestion
in
 children's education but
also
Linking Words
 help them to go to extra-curricular activities.
Although
Linking Words
 there are lots of benefits, there are some disadvantages too. As we all know when
both
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 the parents are working, the child has to stay alone as nowadays most of the families are nuclear and there is no one to help them out with their homework or help them to tackle with their problems. The main concern that parents should take into consideration is that, since
no
in the historical present; at this point in the narration of a series of past events
now
 is there to guide them there is a possibility wherein their children may choose
wrong path
Suggestion
the wrong path
.
For example
Linking Words
, many children bunk their schools or colleges as there is no one to look after them. From
this
Linking Words
 above
discussion it
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discussion, it
 be concluded that, in order to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 child's necessary
requirements
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requirements, both
both
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 the parents have to
work
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. In my opinion,
both
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 child and parents should come together and try to spend maximum time with each other during holidays or during weekends. The main responsibility is
of
Suggestion
on
about
 the parents, that they should not get too much involved in their
work
Use synonyms
 and give enough of their time to
children
Suggestion
the children
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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