IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

#computers #businesses #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that the world is getting more and more inclined towards the use of computers. Over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades, there has been an exponential increase in the use of computers in almost every field of life. Though it is believed that computers are indispensable technology for keeping abreast with the rest of the world; in my opinion, too much dependence on computers and its unabated involvement in humans’ lives may have some negative consequences. Due to rampant technological advancements and continuous improvements being made in computers, it is evident that in the future role of computers will
further
Linking Words
 increase.
For instance
Linking Words
, in health sector computers might replace surgeons due to its precision and accuracy.
Similarly
Linking Words
, autonomous vehicle is yet another area where computers will be used.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is anticipated that countries will be using computers for surveillance and for even defence;
thus
Linking Words
, taking national security to the
next
Linking Words
 level. Despite countless applications of computers, it is of utmost importance to realize that too much dependence on computers may have detrimental impacts. Knowing the fact that computers involve complex circuitry and even a small error or defect can lead to failure of the whole system, using it in highly sensitive systems like nuclear plants or aeroplanes is dangerous.
Also
Linking Words
, computers are taking over so many jobs;
thus
Linking Words
, increasing rate of unemployment. To conclude, it is inevitable that technology will progress and become more dominant in the coming years, we should,
however
Linking Words
, ensure that we still in a position to control it and avoid utter dependence on it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: