Certain personal qualities cannot be achieved through university studies. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

The Modern
education
system is designed to encourage competition among students, especially the higher
education
.
Hence
, some argue that students produced by these institutes are
lac
the state of needing something that is absent or unavailable
lack
laws
less
of certain personality traits. In my view, I totally agree with
this
statement due to some facts which I will
layout
Suggestion
lay out
in
this
essay.
To begin
with, the
individualism
Suggestion
individual
is highly promoted in
curriculum
Suggestion
the curriculum
of the current universities. Most of the subject content
are consist
Suggestion
consists
consist
is consisting
of individual projects and assignments.
Thus
, the graduates and undergraduates learning in these institutions become selfish in order to finish
there
of them or themselves
their
studies successfully. In my own experience, there were very small portion of
group works
Suggestion
the group works
in my degree program.
However
, when a student enters the professional world as a fresh graduate more often than not
it find it difficult
Suggestion
find it difficult
to cope with the demands
such
as the team
work
because of its educational background. The team
work
is highly valued personal quality between the employers in today's world. Another factor involves with
this
is the unwillingness to help someone when needed. In universities, students become busy with their own
work
.
As a result
, they forget to care about the batch-mates of theirs with respect to the
education
and in the personal life situations.
Therefore
, the quality of helping others starts to wash-up from them. The dangerous effect of
this
aspect is when they live in the society, they do not try to help the
neighbors
a person who lives (or is located) near another
neighbours
and colleagues.
Final outcome
Suggestion
The final outcome
of
this
is a selfish society with well educated people who
does not care
Suggestion
do not care
about others. To recapitulate, current self-
centered
being or placed in the center
centred
tertiary
education
primarily develop individualism and selfishness in the students.
Thus personal
Accept comma addition
Thus, personal
qualities
such
as
team
cooperative work done by a team (especially when it is effective)
teamwork
work
and helpfulness of these students gradually decrease from them.
Hence
, I believe
this
is true.
Submitted by n.madubashana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: