Science can now offer people a life expectancy of close to one hundred years or even more. Some people view it in a positive light, but others believe it creates some problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The breakthroughs of medical field have made it possible

Suggestion

for

humans to have a

long

Suggestion

longer

life

Use synonyms

than they used to.

However

Linking Words

, some believe there are certain concerns regarding

this

Linking Words

situation

dispite

regardless of, in defiance of

despite

dispute

the advantages it provides. In my view, I believe the longer

life

Use synonyms

expectancy has made some pressing matters in the society.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the people nowadays live hundred of years and so

on offering

Accept comma addition

on, offering

numerous benefits

for

Suggestion

the

world

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

and foremost, when these people get older they become

the most experienced

Suggestion

more experienced

polpulation

the people who inhabit a territory or state

population

in a country.

Hence

Linking Words

, their knowledge and

life

Use synonyms

lessons are crucial for the development of that nation even the

world

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, living a number of years

have let

Suggestion

has let

human to observe many changes

occured

come to pass

occurred

in the

world

Use synonyms

which can be helpful to make right decisions when needed in

such

Linking Words

stuations

the general state of things; the combination of circumstances at a given time

situations

world

Use synonyms

wars. Considering the unit of

family

Suggestion

the family

, having grandparents and parents for longer time makes

life

Use synonyms

of younger people easier because their advice

help

Suggestion

helps

young adults to face certain difficult situations

visely

in a wise manner

wisely

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

many

expresses possibility

may

lead to increase the number of older people in the societies.

Although

Linking Words

medical sector

Suggestion

the medical sector

was able to increase the

life

Use synonyms

expectancey

an expectation

expectancy

, it

did not found

Suggestion

did not find

has not found

solution

Suggestion

a solution

the solution

for getting old.

Therefore

Linking Words

most old

Suggestion

older

people could not do their own work alone, they need some help from others. Due to the competitive lifestyle of the young people today they do not have time to

lookafter

Suggestion

look after

their parents and grandparents.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend leads to generate some social issues.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, people living longer means they need more medical assistance.

Thus

Linking Words

government

Suggestion

the government

need

Suggestion

needs

to spend more money on welfare of these

people which

Accept comma addition

people, which

can be a huge burden of a nation. To recapitulate, longer

life

Use synonyms

expectancy does not always leads to better outcomes, considering the medical and social issue arise

becouse

for the reason that; on account of

because

this

Linking Words

development. It is always better to

repect

(usually preceded by 'in') a detail or point

respect

repeat

nature

by letting people to

Suggestion

by letting people

die when certain age comes.

n.madubashanaMon Sep 16 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Science can now offer people a life expectancy of close to one hundred years or even more. Some people view it in a positive light, but others believe it creates some problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree?

Is learning English important? Do you agree or disagree?