Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

#people #schools #reward #students #show #results #improvements

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Offering rewards to good scorers is one of incentive programs which schools often launch after examination to motivate students.

However

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, there is a suggestion that moderate achievers are worth being encouraged for their own

endeavor

a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)

endeavours

instead

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of STRAIGHT A STUDENTS. From my point of view, young learners, in any circumstance, should be deserved well as long as they are improving little by little. The

first

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reason is that

this

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may cause mental illness to lower achievers, if their EFFORTS ARE UNAPPRECIATED.

For example

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, a student is likely to suffer from negative

mood

Accept comma addition

mood, such

such

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as FEELING INFERIOR or envious when he realizes that no matter how he attempts, he is just like a RUNNER-UP IN TOURNAMENTS.

Therefore

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, it is necessary to pay compliments as well as monetary rewards to students even though their achievements are junior. Not only will

this

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inspire learners to be more creative in their studies, but

also

Linking Words

it creates equity in schools where each personal value needs acknowledging.

On the other hand

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, without incentive grants for high-scorers, they would lack motivation to step

further

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as a foreseen outcome. In the long run,

this

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may lead to BRAIN DRAIN referring to the emigration of intellectuals to other nations for better study environment. Apart from these, praising high-scorers

Suggestion

are

the positive way to SET SHINING EXAMPLES for weaker students, which NURTURES HEALTHY COMPETITION in

today

Suggestion

today's

schools.

As a result

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, unless they do their best, they would find it hard to keep up with their peers. In conclusion, I contend that any personal improvement, if modest, should be appreciated. More importantly, giving rewards needs to be due and well-prepared in order that each receiver realizes they should move forward, rather than being satisfied with achievements recorded.

Submitted by minhanhneu102 on Mon Sep 16 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Space exploration is too expensive and many money should be spent on more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

some people believe that university students should work part time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?

Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?