Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

Offering rewards to good scorers is one of incentive programs which schools often launch after examination to motivate students.
However
, there is a suggestion that moderate achievers are worth being encouraged for their own
endeavor
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavours
,
instead
of STRAIGHT A STUDENTS. From my point of view, young learners, in any circumstance, should be deserved well as long as they are improving little by little. The
first
reason is that
this
may cause mental illness to lower achievers, if their EFFORTS ARE UNAPPRECIATED.
For example
, a student is likely to suffer from negative
mood
Accept comma addition
mood, such
such
as FEELING INFERIOR or envious when he realizes that no matter how he attempts, he is just like a RUNNER-UP IN TOURNAMENTS.
Therefore
, it is necessary to pay compliments as well as monetary rewards to students even though their achievements are junior. Not only will
this
inspire learners to be more creative in their studies, but
also
it creates equity in schools where each personal value needs acknowledging.
On the other hand
, without incentive grants for high-scorers, they would lack motivation to step
further
as a foreseen outcome. In the long run,
this
may lead to BRAIN DRAIN referring to the emigration of intellectuals to other nations for better study environment. Apart from these, praising high-scorers
is
Suggestion
are
the positive way to SET SHINING EXAMPLES for weaker students, which NURTURES HEALTHY COMPETITION in
today
Suggestion
today's
schools.
As a result
, unless they do their best, they would find it hard to keep up with their peers. In conclusion, I contend that any personal improvement, if modest, should be appreciated. More importantly, giving rewards needs to be due and well-prepared in order that each receiver realizes they should move forward, rather than being satisfied with achievements recorded.
Submitted by minhanhneu102 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: