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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
he
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The
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 charts provide an analysis of the
weight
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 issues among the residents of the town of Charlestown in 1955 and in 2015. In 1955, the youngest
age
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group
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 had the fewest
number
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 / amount of
weight
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 issues, with more than 70% of 20-29-year-olds being assessed as having a healthy
weight
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. In the same year, excess
weight
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 was only a significant
problem
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 among 40-49-year-olds, 20-30% of whom were classified as either overweight or obese. In fact, being
underweight
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 was a more significant
problem
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 affecting more than twenty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 /
percentage
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per cent
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 of each
age
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group
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, and the elderly
in particular
Linking Words
, with 40% of the over
60s
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the 60s
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 being classified as
underweight
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. In stark contrast to
this
Linking Words
,
for
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apply
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/ in 2015, being
underweight
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 was only a
problem
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 among 20-29-year olds, with 20% obtaining
this
Linking Words
 diagnosis, and the
number
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 of
underweight
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 elderly people had fallen by /
to
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apply
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10%. The charts clearly show that, in modern times, obesity poses a considerable
problem
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 from the
age
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 of 30 upwards. In fact, there was a steadily / steady increase in
this
Linking Words
problem
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 in almost every
age
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group
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 over 29 until the
age
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 of 60, when the vast majority are considered to have an unhealthy
weight
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. It is important to note that, by the
age
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 of 60, less than 50% of each
age
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group
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 was considered to have a perfect
weight
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 by the year 2015.
This
Linking Words
 is a fall
in
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apply
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/ of 10% compared
of
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to
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 / to the same
age
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group
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 in 1955. When compared / comparing the two years,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there has been a significant increase in /
of
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apply
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the
number
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 of obese people in Charlestown, and there was a general drop
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 / in the
number
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 of
underweight
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 people between 1955 and 2015.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words weight, age, group, number, problem, underweight with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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