Summarise the information and make relevant corrections wherever required

#summarise #information #corrections

Around 11% of the

population which

Accept comma addition

population, which

accounted for 1837000 people in Australia lived in

poverty

in 1999. Among all households, aged couples were the least hit by

poverty

as only 4% of these citizens have been classified in

this

category.

to the aged couple, come

single

Suggestion

singly

-aged people, 6% or 54,000 of them are poor. Those couples who don't have children seem to be less affected by paucity of money as only 7% of these people are impoverished, much lesser than those with couples who have children and figuring lying around 12% or 933000. They constitute the greatest proportion of poor people in the country owing to the fact of occupying

major part

Suggestion

a major part

in the overall population. Contrary to the expectation, a high percentage of single people (19%) with no children live in

poverty

. Household worst affected by

poverty

is the one constituted of sole parents, among whom almost 21% can't afford basic life amenities. One plausible explanation of the above pattern can be, with couples household expenses, work is divided which is difficult with single people. Adding to

this

reasoning, sole parents having additional expenditure for children

find

Suggestion

finds

it more difficult to manage their finances.

Submitted by pankhurivanjani on Tue Sep 17 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

196 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Summarise the information and make relevant corrections wherever required

Include an introduction and conclusion

Video records are better to learn about the way other people in the world lives than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The governments should give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?c

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Environmental problems such as pollution and climatic variations are increasing nowadays. The governments have taken some measures at a global level. But they got only few solutions. Why is it so? How can this be solved?

The gap between the rich and the poor is growing. What problem does this create? What can be done to tackle them?