IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The gap between rich and the poor is increasing wide as rich people become richer and poor people grew poor what problem could this situation cause ? what are the solution to address those problem?

#gap #people #situation #address
it
Suggestion
It
 is implicit that there is an enormous
gab
a conspicuous disparity or difference as between two figures
gap
job
 between affluent and impoverished people is ample more and more as some children are born in high societies
,
Accept space
,
hence
 become more richer
however
,
Accept space
,
some are born in poor families
then
 become poor.
it
Suggestion
It
 has become a disquieting problem so there are several factors responsible for
this
 problem which I would like to explicate in
this
 essay and discuss some possible repercussion
.
Accept space
.
 There are multifarious
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 of points
endors
be behind; approve of
endorse
endorsed
 my views
.
Accept space
.
 One of the most prominent reason is that prosperous people become richer because they have plenty of Penny and can do anything including
education
, Medical and have luxurious Lifestyle
.
Accept space
.
 Richer attain higher
education
 and easy obtain the job or can start their own business.
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand
,
Accept space
,
 poor people do not have much money so they do not
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their desires and cannot avail good
education
, often lower strata of society is indulge in crime and commit distinct delinquencies
such
 as robbery
,
Accept space
,
 theft and kidnapping
,
Accept space
,
 but still remain poor and cannot give satisfaction to the family. As per prevailing
,
Accept space
,
there are some solutions to mitigate
this
 Grave situation
.
Accept space
.
Firstly
, bureaucrats
has had provide
Suggestion
is providing
provides
provided
has provided
 equal opportunities to both societies.
education
Suggestion
Education
 must be provided to poor people so that they can get
ideal job
Suggestion
the ideal job
an ideal job
 along with the telephone figure salary
.
Accept space
.
 Both people should have similar rights and must follow all rules and regulations so poverty can be declined and poor people do not feel isolated.
legal
Suggestion
Legal
 bodies should provide free
education
 and nutritious diet
to
Suggestion
of
 poor kids at school so that
this
 scourge can be
ameliorate
Suggestion
ameliorated
 immediately from
further
 deteriorating
.
Accept space
.
 It can be retreated that there are numbers of factors and some possible solutions of
this
 phenomenon. Government should take some steps and implement stringent law in all countries
throught
all the way through
throughout
through
 the world
therefore
, all
kind
Suggestion
kinds
 of people can take
advantages
Suggestion
advantage
 of it.
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: