IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Schools should organize activities after class.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is implicit that, hurry-scurry its
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
 role
playing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.A popular stratum of the society
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to believe that, alma mater should do our suit after finishing academic work
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 divert the children’s mind.I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,I would like to explicate it at length in the paragraphs to come.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 first and foremost, children can lessen their stress with
help
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
 of some bustle after their education, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 peers are very
tightness
Replace the word
tighten
show examples
related to their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, they feel very
exhaust
Replace the word
exhausted
show examples
,so
culture
Add an article
the culture
a culture
show examples
 of learning to start extra curriculum activities for students to divert their mind.
For instance
Linking Words
, if school owners had taken some steps related to extra activities,it would have had some changes in children’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, these events are very beneficial for
health
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they cite examples, they can obtain more knowledge, and understand the merits of pursuit
as well as
Linking Words
 they can maintain their physical
health
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 they can aware
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
health
Use synonyms
, and bring down some
health
Use synonyms
 issues because nowadays
health
Use synonyms
 problems are
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 subsequent days so teachers can diminish
Linking Words
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
 with the help of some flurry after educational institutional study. In conclusion,I am of the opinion, that children obtain diversional therapy
due to
Linking Words
 agitation
along
Linking Words
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can
physically
Add a missing verb
be physically
show examples
 and mentally fit, and
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
issues. So, teachers should arrange curriculum activities for students.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: