IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, the internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

There is no iota of doubt that, television and especially the internet have made it possible for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everyday people to become a celebrity much more easily
in
Change preposition
than in
show examples
 the past.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon
is offering
Wrong verb form
offers
show examples
 multifarious benefits to people
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to a regular, innocent person having their life memorable.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes a couple of problems emerge
due to
Linking Words
 the same. The following paragraphs
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 cast light on the pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
 development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the bright side, the ability to become popular through digital media obviously leads to the opportunity to become rich and famous.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in the past,
this
Linking Words
 was controlled by film studio executives and record labels, but now a typical person can become a star simply by word of mouth.
For instance
Linking Words
, many popular YouTube stars became famous (and wealthy) simply by their fans sharing their content and
then
Linking Words
 things snowballed from there. On the flip side of the
coil
Correct your spelling
coin
show examples
, there are a handful of nasty consequences as well, the dark side of
this
Linking Words
 ease of access to fame is that it can lead to infamy for a person who maybe did not do much to justify it.
For example
Linking Words
, a new star emerging from the internet or a TV talent show, there are myriad more instances of
Everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 Joes who have been harassed and had their lives ruined because of public scrutiny.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
aforementioned can arise when someone is completely innocent,
such
Linking Words
 as in the case of online bullying, or even when someone seeks out attention but is ruthlessly mocked for trying to do something creative.
To conclude
Linking Words
, an increase in the ability for people to express themselves and their creativity is an enticing thing in general.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, in
reality
Add a comma
reality,
show examples
 the opportunity to become popular is
also
Linking Words
 the opportunity to become popular for the wrong reasons.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt and provides comprehensive and clear ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: