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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level
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It is argued that at the grade
level
Use synonyms
 music, art, and theatre are worth studying with other curricula.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely disagrees with the statement because these subjects are of least importance according to recent trends and children are immature to recognize their interests.
This
Linking Words
 is an era of science and technology, so with the rapidly developing modern world rather than studying
arts
Suggestion
art
, music, and theatre, it is important to study science, math, and other related subjects according to the future prospect of the students.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if grade students are interested, these subjects can be taught at home, in a summer vacation or as a side course during
pupil’s free time
Suggestion
the pupil’s free time
a pupil’s free time
pupil’s free times
 because the addition of these subjects in the curriculum would result in the waste of precious time in the learning phase of primary students. At primary
level
Use synonyms
 students are too young to prioritize things and they barely know the importance of all subjects so, as these subject provide entertainment to the students it is more likely that they lose focus
from
Suggestion
of
 the main course of study and deviate more towards these unimportant subjects.
However
Linking Words
, these should be subject of interest at secondary
level
Use synonyms
 when students are mature enough to select their career after considering everything.
For example
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, a recent report published in the Daily times stated that the schools which introduce music and drama as part of curriculum fail to produce more creative students due to the lack of focus on important subjects. To conclude,
this
Linking Words
 essay suggests that at basic
level
Use synonyms
 singing, acting and arts must not be given more importance because in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, scientists and technologists are in demand,
moreover
Linking Words
, it results in a deviation from
normal study pattern
Suggestion
the normal study pattern
.
Submitted by zeerak0229 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
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