IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #traffic #transportation #cities #suburbs #countryside
It is universally acknowledged that; traffic and
transport
 is one of the most contentious issues the world over. Many advocate that the sole solution to
this
 concern is
migration
Suggestion
the migration
 of people from towns and villages
toward
Suggestion
to
 the cities.
This
 essay will deeply
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 why, the idea of motivating individuals is completely preposterous, as it results is over-crowding of cities.
Firstly
, the proponent of
this
 believe argue that fewer vehicles will run between rural and urban areas. Most population of the villages and suburbs move to cities daily to reach their
work-place
a place where work is done
workplace
workplaces
 and educational institutes, which is the major cause of
transport
 consumption and congestion of traffic in cities. A
succinate
briefly giving the gist of something
succinct
 example proclaiming
this
, In
UK
Suggestion
the UK
, statistics shows that 66% of
population
Suggestion
the population
 moving on
road
Suggestion
the road
a road
every-day
found in the ordinary course of events
everyday
 in metropolitan cities comes from side areas, which is a matter of concern for
local public
Suggestion
the local public
. If people from country-side are attracted to reside in rural areas permanently is will extirpate the
transport
 and traffic jam issues. One the other side,
argument
Suggestion
the argument
 of populating cities, in order to cull road and
transport
 issues, is completely absurd. Rise in population will
consequently
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to consumption of huge amount of resources,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.e.
scarcity
Suggestion
Scarcity
 of health facilities, educational institutes and daily commodities.
For instance
, in 2015, USA government reported that people face difficulty in getting
appointment
Suggestion
an appointment
appointments
 with their general physicians because of the excessive influx of patient that came from rural areas. Overall, due to over-population in
cities people
Accept comma addition
cities, people
 will face more problem in getting basic necessities of life as compared to resolving road concerns. To conclude,
this
 essay argued that; encouraging people to live in cities, reduce
transport
burden but
Accept comma addition
burden, but
 they over-look other problems it might bring. I completely disagree with inviting people to stay permanently in metropolis just for solving
single problem
Suggestion
a single problem
, ended up pilling other
Submitted by zeerak0229 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: