IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that managerial posts in private companies and in government are more suitable for men. Others think that given the opportunity women can be successful managers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #posts #companies #government #men #opportunity #women #managers
In today’s modern era, some people believe that women are well educated and talented
.
Accept space
.
 They can lead many organizations successfully
.
Accept space
.
 They are pushing organisations to the new height of success. While
on the other hand
, some people think that men have more potential than women. They can balance their work-life more well. We will
eleborate
marked by complexity and richness of detail
elaborate
 both views here. And
also
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will give my opinion.
Firstly
, people who support women argue that in
this
digitial
displaying numbers rather than scale positions
digital
worl
everything that exists anywhere
world
 women are more educated than men. In every
universitiy
the body of faculty and students at a university
university
 the ratio of women is more than men. They
also
 have innate abilities to make decisions. Now a days, they are
also
 supporting their families to earn bread and butter. So, they should be provided with the
opportunites
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 of promotion and lead the organization. They must provide equal rights of men in their careers.
On the other hand
 people who oppose the idea believe that men struggled hard to
fed
Suggestion
feed
 their families. Women does job only to pass their time, as soon as they got married they quit their jobs. Company bear loss because they spend
huge amount
Suggestion
a huge amount
huge amounts
 on the selection and training of
new employee
Suggestion
new employees
a new employee
the new employee
 to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 that position. In my opinion, both male and female should provide the equal rights of being promoted. They both can lead the organization towards success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: