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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour
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The question of whether the amount of
violence
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 on
TV
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 and
cinema
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 has affected young people in our society is something which cannot be quantified or proved. My opinion is though that the answer is “yes, it has”.
TV
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 and
cinema
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 today do show a large amount of
violence
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 and,
although
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 we try and shield our young people from seeing too much, they still get to watch it. At the age of eighteen in my country, they can see everything anyway.
Violence
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 on the streets has increased. That has been proved. The connection between the
TV
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 and the
cinema
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 obsession with
violence
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 and today's street
violence
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 cannot be proved, but it is logical that the two are connected. Young people imitate what they see and it is logical that they see glamour in what they do when they commit
violence
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. How can we lessen
violence
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? Reducing the amount of
violence
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 on
TV
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 and in the
cinema
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 would certainly be a good start. Being more vigilant about what age children are when they see
violence
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 in these media, and raising the age limits would
also
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 help. Another good idea would be to channel the
violence
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 of young people. I don‛t think that national service should be re-established in
this
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 country but, if people are convicted of
violence
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 and sent to prison,
then
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 why not give them the option of serving in the army. Their
violence
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 will be controlled and they will be subjected to discipline so that they will be better able to control themselves when they leave. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that
cinema
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 and
TV
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violence
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 affects the young people in our society. There are some things that can be done to better the situation, but I doubt whether anything will be done.
Submitted by oluwafemidavid on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • mimicking
  • aggressive
  • idolize
  • fear or anxiety
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • proactive
  • supervision
  • content
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