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Band 6.5

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour
The question of whether the amount of
violence
 on
TV
 and
cinema
 has affected young people in our society is something which cannot be quantified or proved. My opinion is though that the answer is “yes, it has”.
TV
 and
cinema
 today do show a large amount of
violence
 and,
although
 we try and shield our young people from seeing too much, they still get to watch it. At the age of eighteen in my country, they can see everything anyway.
Violence
 on the streets has increased. That has been proved. The connection between the
TV
 and the
cinema
 obsession with
violence
 and today's street
violence
 cannot be proved, but it is logical that the two are connected. Young people imitate what they see and it is logical that they see glamour in what they do when they commit
violence
. How can we lessen
violence
? Reducing the amount of
violence
 on
TV
 and in the
cinema
 would certainly be a good start. Being more vigilant about what age children are when they see
violence
 in these media, and raising the age limits would
also
 help. Another good idea would be to channel the
violence
 of young people. I don‛t think that national service should be re-established in
this
 country but, if people are convicted of
violence
 and sent to prison,
then
 why not give them the option of serving in the army. Their
violence
 will be controlled and they will be subjected to discipline so that they will be better able to control themselves when they leave. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that
cinema
 and
TV
violence
 affects the young people in our society. There are some things that can be done to better the situation, but I doubt whether anything will be done.
Submitted by oluwafemidavid on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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