IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Countries around the world require more and more energy every year for domestic and industrial use. What are the causes of this excessive energy consumption, and how does it affect the environment?

#countries #world #energy #year #consumption #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An increasing concern for many countries around the
world
Use synonyms
 is
energy
Use synonyms
 use. The causes of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon are varied and have led to numerous effects on the environment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the reasons why excessive
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption is occurring, and discuss the results it can have on the
world
Use synonyms
. Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why the increase in the consumption of
energy
Use synonyms
 is happening. The primary cause, without doubt, is the population explosion.
For example
Linking Words
, in 1900, the
world
Use synonyms
 population was estimated to be 1.6 billion, but today there are more than 7 billion people in the
world
Use synonyms
. The more people there are, the higher the
energy
Use synonyms
 requirements will be. Another cause of the growth in
energy
Use synonyms
 use is industrialization and the technological revolution.
For example
Linking Words
, factories use large machines to do the jobs that people used to do, and modern households have a wide range of
energy
Use synonyms
-consuming electronic devices, including mobile phones, water heaters, and washing machines. Perhaps the most serious consequence that the increase in
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption has caused is global warming. The burning of fossil fuels leads to an increase in the levels of carbon emissions in the atmosphere, which causes the temperature of the atmosphere to rise. The result of
this
Linking Words
 is rising sea levels, extreme weather, and
desertification
Suggestion
, which in turn leads to many species of fauna and flora losing their habitat, and being threatened with extinction. One way to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue would be for the governments all around the
world
Use synonyms
 to work together to reduce the burning of fossil fuels by investing in renewable
energy
Use synonyms
. If we continue to sweep
this
Linking Words
 problem under the carpet, future generations will need to deal with the consequences.
Submitted by bhanushajeshan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive energy consumption
  • industrial growth
  • economic development
  • higher living standards
  • electronic gadgets
  • appliances
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • transportation networks
  • energy-intensive
  • deforestation
  • land use changes
  • natural systems
  • artificial climate control
  • manufacturing
  • housing
  • daily life activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: