Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the salad days of the millennium,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
polarised
Verb problem
divided
show examples
into two groups almost equally. Regarding the notion
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
, whether the
zoos
should be closed
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
intensive cruel or we should open widely in order to protect rare
animals
.
However
, different people have their
distinct
Correct word choice
own distinct
show examples
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
. In my opinion, we should retain
zoos
to protect limited
animals
from their extinction. The following paragraphs
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
shed light on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approaches before making a final note. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to share in its favour. It is understandable that caging
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
in the zoo is brutal
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so it should be abandoned for some reasons. Keeping
animals
in captivity is unethical. Regard to that human
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a dominating kind on the planet, but we have no right to use
animals
for entertainment.
Moreover
, wildlife parks exhibit
animals
with the aim of making
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
.
Therefore
, It turns out that
such
animals
will be caged
underprivileged
Change preposition
in underprivileged
show examples
conditions,
Correct word choice
and for
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the long-term, they will lose their instinct to hunt food or even
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
.
According to
some
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
, there was a polar bear called "Winter" died in the zoo in
Bruenos
Correct your spelling
Buenos
Aires in 2012 because of the harsh temperature. Shifting towards the second school of thought, there are still positive impacts
within protect
Change preposition
on protecting
show examples
endangered species.
Zoos
are an artificial environment that has been made by people
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
wild
animals
, especially for those who are on the brink of
disappear
Change the verb form
disappearing
show examples
such
as pandas or rhinos.
This
allows scientists to study animal behaviour. Another consideration of
zoos
is that they employ a large number of people,
thus
providing job opportunities and income for local residents. In conclusion, we cannot deny that both sides are well-grounded.
Although
zoo plays an important role in wildlife conservation, I would argue that government should take serious steps in order to give
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
realistic living environment compared with their natural environment.
Submitted by shawonielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that your arguments are more balanced and show a deeper understanding of both sides of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the use of cohesive devices to better connect your ideas and support your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
Look at other essays: