COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone?

Gone are the days when everyone used to carry cash with them.In contemporary times, people prefer using credit or debit
cards
for their daily account transactions.
According to
my opinion, going completely cashless is not practically feasible.
This
essay will discuss my perspective.
To begin
with, nobody can deny that carrying currency in your pockets is prone to be stolen, but we all are well aware of ATM fraud which is one of the most serious
cybercrime
Fix the agreement mistake
cybercrimes
show examples
. It is
also
quite difficult to control. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, my paternal uncle's account got debited because some fraudsters called him and asked about his debit card details and he too told him about his
pin
Correct your spelling
PIN
show examples
number.
This
incident happened approximately 3 months ago.Till now,
cyber-cell
Fix the agreement mistake
cyber-cells
show examples
and cops are unable to find the victim.
Thus
, it is not safe to use these
cards
without proper knowledge.Considering a nation like India, where illiteracy late is on the higher side, using paperless currency is a very bad idea.
Also
, there are certain situations when
due to
network or server unavailability, Credit or debit
cards
do not work. To exemplify,
last
month, I went to a shopping mall with my family, I thought I
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
pay expenses by swiping
card
Correct pronoun usage
my card
show examples
on
point
Correct article usage
the point
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of sales machine.
But unfortunately
Correct word choice
Unfortunately
show examples
, there
was
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were
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some
back end
Add a hyphen
back-end
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issues and my card stopped working.
This
situation made me gloomy. Now, I always carry some physical cash
along with
plastic money so as to avoid any
further
inconvenience.
To conclude
, though use of cash should be minimal on a regular basis.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
relying completely on plastic currency like ATM
cards
is not a good option as some barriers associated with safety and convenience are always there.
Submitted by harsimarkaur4 on

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task response
Your essay does not fully address the prompt given. You have discussed the safety and convenience issues related to using credit and debit cards, but you could have provided more arguments for or against a cashless society. Make sure to clearly present your stance on the topic and support it with relevant points.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is weak. Try to organize your ideas more coherently by having a clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting examples, and a conclusion that restates your main points. Use transition words to connect your ideas smoothly and improve the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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