IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities To what extent do you agree ?

#companies #sports #facilities #communities
In modern
society
 more more companies have enormously big success in promoting their products throughout the world. Some people believe that
such
 gigantic firms should support people organizing
recretional
of or relating to recreation
recreational
 facilities that help to develop both
society
 and companies. In my view creating
healthy environment
Suggestion
a healthy environment, society
a healthy environment society
society
 is entirely
nessesserly
absolutely essential
necessary
to
Suggestion
for
 local communities that give
chance
Suggestion
the chance
a chance
 to be more prosperous in all
area
Suggestion
areas
 of our lives.
To begin
 with, if business group will help to provide fitness promoting campaigns, the future generation will be healthier and they will be
important part
Suggestion
an important part
 of
society
. Sport and social facilities engage youth and it keeps them away from bad activities
such
 as drug using, smoking,
comitting
perform an act, usually with a negative connotation
committing
diferent
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
 gravity of crimes that can lead to
bigger problem
Suggestion
bigger problems
a bigger problem
the bigger problem
. In
results
Suggestion
the results
, it creates
better environment
Suggestion
a better environment
 in all areas of life, especially for gigantic firms that need
absolutely save
Suggestion
to absolutely save
 platform to do business. A plethora of companies
such
 as Microsoft that provides services for humanitarian relief and disaster management or the philanthropy program of Whole Foodshelping communities and spreading awareness about nutrition and healthy foods are
contribute
Suggestion
contributing
 for
better future
Suggestion
a better future
.
On the other hand
, big companies have good experience and long term vision that
provide
Suggestion
provides
 better strategies to run and manage facilities in
local community
Suggestion
the local community
local communities
.
Furthemore
in addition
Furthermore
, they can effectively use resources or allocate a budget reasonably, and attract investors. So.,
such
 kind of facilities
rule
the actions and activities assigned to or required or expected of a person or group
role
by
Suggestion
of
 big firms have total success. In conclusion, gigantic firms should totally engaged
helping
Suggestion
help
be helping
be helped
 people in
certain soceity
Suggestion
certain societies
certain society
a certain society
 in order to create
better life
Suggestion
a better life
better lives
in
Suggestion
on
 all levels
,
Accept space
,
 that certainly brings benefits for
companies
Suggestion
companies'
company's
company
intersts
a sense of concern with and curiosity about someone or something
interests
interest
 too.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: