IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. Do you agree or disagree?

#government’s #role #defence #capability #infrastructure #roads #water #supplies #services #education #health #security #groups #individuals #community
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Some people think that
government
Use synonyms
 should build roads, control the national military while all other services should be provided by
prive
confined to particular persons or groups or providing privacy
private
 groups or individuals. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and
this
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 essay will outline some arguments and against the importance of a
government
Use synonyms
’s role in providing services for its people.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I think that
government
Use synonyms
 should provide
defenses
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
 capability and urban
infrastructure
Use synonyms
. Because both of it is two main
sector
Suggestion
sectors
 which need spend the most on it so only
government
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 have enough ability to their citizens and they will again be spent by utilising on the
development
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 of the
infrastructure
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 and
improvement
Suggestion
improve
improving
 the national security power. Actually, the state manages the master planning on social economic
development
Use synonyms
,
therefore
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, they know very well where need to be invested
on
Suggestion
in
infrastructure
Use synonyms
. It is understood that the leading role of the
government
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can not
can not
cannot
 be denied in these two main sectors. For other services
such
Linking Words
 as education, health, social security, I
also
Linking Words
 think that
government
Use synonyms
 should play the roles in controlling and supervising to make sure the
development
Use synonyms
 is
in
Suggestion
on
 the right track.
However
Linking Words
, the practical investment and implementation it needs to involve the participation of private groups or individuals. When allowing private sectors
invest
Suggestion
to invest
 in
services
Suggestion
the services
 it helps
government
Use synonyms
 mobilizing available resources of the country and reducing its burden.
Linking Words
Also
Accept comma addition
Also, this
this
Linking Words
 action promotes a competitive market and economic
development
Use synonyms
. When there are many service providers in the market, the quality of the services will be increased and its prices will be competitive and the citizens will be benefited. In conclusion,
government
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 should play important roles in the fields of national
defenses
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
 capability and
infrastructure
Use synonyms
development
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 as well as controlling the
development
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 of
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 sector. Meanwhile, other services should be
providedoi
on condition, with the understanding, if; usually followed by that
provided
 by private groups or individuals in the community to promote the economic
development
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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