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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, children under 16 are not allowed to leave school by law and get fulltime work. Is this a good or bad thing?

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Introduction
Children play a crucial role in the society, because today's children are tomorrow adults, who are responsible
to
Suggestion
for
development
Suggestion
the development
 of the nation.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is everyone's responsibility to take measures towards their career. Because of
this
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, students who are under secondary education level are restricted to
scholl
an educational institution
school
 with
fulltime
for the entire time appropriate to an activity
full-time
full time
 work rather than any other activities, which implemented by the law enforcement agency in some countries.
However
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, there are several merits and demerits of
this
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 situation.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, while adolescents are under the control of
school
Use synonyms
 management
,
Accept space
,
they feel safe and happy, because they are protected from crime actions
such
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 as child murders, kidnapping.
Secondly
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, schools are not permitting children to outside of the
school
Use synonyms
, because they have to answer to parents, if anything happen to
student
Suggestion
the student
students
.
Moreover
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, they are learning and developing their educational skills, lead them to
better future
Suggestion
a better future
. By involving in lectures without any absent,
also
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 fosters better knowledge in group discussions and team management.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, there are several ill effects to the children, if they are only allowed to study in
school
Use synonyms
 rather than any extracurricular activities like sports and culture.
Furthermore
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, they
are only tend
Suggestion
only tend
 to know about class knowledge, not general knowledge, which relates to the outside environment. Owing to all these, teenagers may get stressed and bored with the inside environment, which leads to myriad negative effects.
Conclusion
To conclude, I reiterate my statement by saying that students are not only permitted to studies by
school
Use synonyms
 professionals, but
also
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 encourage them to involve in games and social activities.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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