IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

he percentage of people travel by bus in UK. To that extent do you agree with this statement?

#percentage #people #travel #bus #uk
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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table chart illustrates the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used the
bus
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 for travelling in the United Kingdom from the
year
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 2009 to 2011. Given data is calibrated in
percentage
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, for all the years
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum
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 number of pupils, preferred buses for shopping purposes and
lesser
Correct article usage
a lesser
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 took
this
Linking Words
 means of transportation for going to work. In 2009, 65%
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of people's
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people's
Change noun form
people
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 took
Use synonyms
bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
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 for shopping, but
this
Linking Words
percentage
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 dropped to 56% in the
year
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 2010 and later
on
Add a comma
on,
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this
Linking Words
percentage
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 again fell to 51%. But,
still
Add a comma
still,
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 more than half
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 preferred buses for shopping
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 in all the given years. Only 5%
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 took
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bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
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for going
Change preposition
to go
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 to work in the
year
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 2009 and again
this
Linking Words
percentage
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 decreased from 2% in the
year
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 2010 to 0%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
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.
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Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
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 by
bus
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 for study and day
tour
Fix the agreement mistake
tours
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 increased from 4% to 9% and 7% to 12% respectively from the
year
Use synonyms
 2009 to
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year
Change the article
the year
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 2011. In the
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2009 and 2010, 19%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 took
Use synonyms
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
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 in order to
visiting
Change the verb
visit
show examples
 their
friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
show examples
 homes, but later on
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 increased by 4% and reached 23%.
Submitted by dildarindia1e on

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task response
Ensure that all points directly relate to the task question and provide a clear stance on the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing ideas more coherently to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and academic language to improve the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Try to vary the sentence structures and use a wider range of grammatical structures to enhance your grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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