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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

he percentage of people travel by bus in UK. To that extent do you agree with this statement?

#percentage #people #travel #bus #uk
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
table chart illustrates the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
people
 who used the
bus
 for travelling in the United Kingdom from the
year
 2009 to 2011. Given data is calibrated in
percentage
.
Overall
, for all the years
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum
show examples
 number of pupils, preferred buses for shopping purposes and
lesser
Correct article usage
a lesser
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 number of
people
 took
this
 means of transportation for going to work. In 2009, 65%
Change preposition
of people's
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people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
 took
bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
show examples
 for shopping, but
this
percentage
 dropped to 56% in the
year
 2010 and later
on
Add a comma
on,
show examples
this
percentage
 again fell to 51%. But,
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 more than half
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 preferred buses for shopping
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 in all the given years. Only 5%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 took
bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
show examples
for going
Change preposition
to go
show examples
 to work in the
year
 2009 and again
this
percentage
 decreased from 2% in the
year
 2010 to 0%
at the end
 of the
year
.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of
people
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 by
bus
 for study and day
tour
Fix the agreement mistake
tours
show examples
 increased from 4% to 9% and 7% to 12% respectively from the
year
 2009 to
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2011. In the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2009 and 2010, 19%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 took
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
show examples
 in order to
visiting
Change the verb
visit
show examples
 their
friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
show examples
 homes, but later on
this
percentage
 increased by 4% and reached 23%.
Submitted by dildarindia1e on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
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lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and academic language to improve the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Try to vary the sentence structures and use a wider range of grammatical structures to enhance your grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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